VISITORS' COMMENTS

In the interests of honesty, transparency and general straight-dealing, we reproduce here some of the more flattering recent comments from our honoured guests.

'Definitely not for me' - H. Blowfield, of London

I'd rather camp out in a field than stay here' W. Jackson, of Dingwall

'You'd need to be pretty desperate to stay at this place' - L.L. Fauntleroy, of Berkhamsted

'Talk about sleeping rough...' Alf and Mabel Smithers, of Yorkshire

'This place is an utter disgrace' - Mr and Mrs Maxwell-Smith, of Surbiton, Surrey

'A rare survivor - luckily' - Dr J. Finlay, of Tannochbrae, Scotland

'Church House, Kington: to be avoided at all costs' - Helen and Jonathan Klapper, of Southampton

'Ils se foutent de ma gueule, ou quoi?' - Michel Boissy, of Lyon, France

'Wirklich schrecklich' - Klaus und Brigitte Statten, of Stuttgart, Germany

'I wouldn't even bother to steal the towels from this establishment' - Miss J. Werner, of Oregon, USA

'I've eaten better breakfast on Siberian Airways than at this dump' - John and Maria Foxton, of Leicester

'Can't someone close this place down?' - Heinz und Lotte Hünchen-Fleisch, of Hamburg, Germany

'The owners should give up trying to do bed and breakfast, and get proper jobs' - Joe King, of Sydney, Australia

'These people can not be serious' - Mac N. Rowe, of New York, USA